(WARNING: This message contains disturbing material. Side effects may include loss of breath, faintness of heart, and dizziness)
SOOOOOOOOOOOO many things to tell you about the date. Oh my stinkin gosh. I'm just so glad it's over. NEVER again. NEVER!! hahaha.. the easiest way to describe the key awkward moments will be in highlights of the night:
Highlight 1: Dinner
First of all, we got there like 20 minutes early before they even let people in, so we decided to walk around by the beach until we could go in. His hand kept bumping into mine so I made sure to keep switching my purse to whatever hand was closest to him while we walked. no way was i holding hands with that guy... creep. (I feel so uncomfortable around him! It's probably the spirit telling me "stay the heck away!" haha). So, we get to dinner, sit down, and it's that awkward silence thing, so I keep trying to ask him questions to keep the conversation going. (Also, I tried to eat as slooooowly as possible as to delay the inevitable dancing part of the date). Anyway, i think i would have preferred the awkward silence, it would have been less awkward than the convo. somehow he managed to turn every topic into an opportunity to give a long sunday school lesson. for example, i asked him how long he had been in the ward. his response: "you need to stay in one place as long as possible, then the bishop can help you. because, look at this plate. it's dirty. would you serve someone new food on it? no. why? because it's dirty. it needs to be cleaned. so you need a good relationship with your bishop." me: "ummm........" Haha, also i tried to respond totally opposite to his viewpoints on every topic, as to deter him from liking me. fail. he just thought i was awesome because i was so different. for example: i asked him his favorite music type. he responds with a lengthy description of how Enya really speaks deep to his soul. bahahaha. enya. oh gosh. so then i said, "oh, I love rap. Can't go wrong with Kanye West and Eminem." and naturally, he thought that was the coolest thing ever that i liked rap...geeesh. then, there was this long pause of silence. after like 3 minutes he just turned to me and said, "I have nothing to say...I'm scanning my brain, but I just have nothing to say." bahahahaha....oh gosh. So that was dinner.
Highlight 2) The dance
Sooooo, soooo, soooooooo awkward. AWKWARD! haha, i was just so uncomfortable that i couldn't keep to the rhythm so he took that as a sign that he needed to teach me how to dance. in front of everyone. oh gosh. and he kept holding my hands. and his hands were all sticky and gross. blah. so after a few songs, i was like, "um...i need to take a break. i'm going to go to the bathroom."
Highlight 3) The rest of the date
Haha, so after that we just walked outside and sat by the beach, talking and looking out into the middle distance for the remaining hour and a half. This is where it gets really uncomfortable. So, first of all, there was a little Tiki bar thing outside (cause the dance was at this Resort place) and he kept suggesting that we go get drinks. (Ummm.....what?????). But i kept saying i wasn't thirsty. haha. geeez. then, we started talking about our life plans. i wanted to make a huge emphasis that my plans didn't include him in them, so i made them sound really definite, and talked about how i want to go on a mission in a few months, then graduate, then join the military. but that didn't turn him off, instead he was like, "oh, you're not like any other girls! they never know what they are doing with their lives!" geeez. if only he knew that that is exactly how i really am. haha. but, he still felt the need to tell me how important motherhood is. so he talked about that. for a long time. and then. he started. singing. for 5 minutes. some song about mothers. and then, he started rapping. "oh baby girl, baby girl, i really love you. you're in this hole, and you need me to dig you out..." Amy!!! This is not a joke! ....so awkward. i didn't know what to say. so i just sat there in silence, and he was like, "Oh, just forget everything that i just said." and, to top off this whole disturbing conversation experience, i kept yawning. when i yawn once, i just can't stop. and every time i yawned, he would lean over and start patting/rubbing my back, which as time went on turned into him massaging my shoulders every time i yawned. so i had to fight really hard to yawn with my mouth closed or not yawn at all, which was so hard! and sometimes a yawn would just leak out and it was so awkward and weird.
So anyway, that was pretty much how the whole night went. at midnight his friends were heading back and we got a ride with them there, so we headed back with them. but he suggested that they drop us off at the temple and we walk around/sit by the temple and then he walk me home, but i said i was really tired and thankfully they just dropped me off at home. geeeez. he wants me to do something with him tomorrow, but there's no way that's gonna happen. normally, in this situation i would try my best to avoid this guy and never talk to him again, but this is such a small campus and he's in my ward! oh geez. just one more month! one more month and i'll be safe at home in provo!! (ps, sorry for the longest message of your life!! haha)
Yep...I know. Some key details that I didn't mention in this message to Amy (I think because she already knew them):
1. This guy was 30 (had my suspicions but found out for sure during the date...another awkward convo)
2. He was like 6 inches shorter than me
3. Being from a very small Polynesian island, he had a very thick accent, so half the time I didn't even understand him.
4. He texted/emailed me every day leading up to this date to find out what I was wearing. When I finally told him I was wearing a black and blue dress he said, "Ohhh....black and blue is my favorite color." (Ummm...last time I checked those were two separate colors...but okay...)
5. Thirty minutes after he dropped me off from the date he emailed me this message:
Hi Anne
Thank you so much for accompanying me to the Ball Dance.
It was a wonderful blessing to have you come with me to enjoy the Fall Ball together.
You a wonderful person, and you have strong personality as I observed.
Forget about some of my foolish notions that sound prideful in my conversation with you today. Get the good part of it, and enlarge it.
Thank you so much once again and I am looking forward to learn more from you whensoever convenient.
GUYS. This kinda stuff just doesn't happen in real life!
Moral of the story: If you feel uncomfortable around a person when they're asking you out, listen to that little voice, trust your instincts, and just say "NO", because guaranteed that feeling is only going to get ten times stronger during the date. Sometimes, being safe/smart/comfortable/non-awkwarded-out outweighs being polite.
Highlight 1: Dinner
First of all, we got there like 20 minutes early before they even let people in, so we decided to walk around by the beach until we could go in. His hand kept bumping into mine so I made sure to keep switching my purse to whatever hand was closest to him while we walked. no way was i holding hands with that guy... creep. (I feel so uncomfortable around him! It's probably the spirit telling me "stay the heck away!" haha). So, we get to dinner, sit down, and it's that awkward silence thing, so I keep trying to ask him questions to keep the conversation going. (Also, I tried to eat as slooooowly as possible as to delay the inevitable dancing part of the date). Anyway, i think i would have preferred the awkward silence, it would have been less awkward than the convo. somehow he managed to turn every topic into an opportunity to give a long sunday school lesson. for example, i asked him how long he had been in the ward. his response: "you need to stay in one place as long as possible, then the bishop can help you. because, look at this plate. it's dirty. would you serve someone new food on it? no. why? because it's dirty. it needs to be cleaned. so you need a good relationship with your bishop." me: "ummm........" Haha, also i tried to respond totally opposite to his viewpoints on every topic, as to deter him from liking me. fail. he just thought i was awesome because i was so different. for example: i asked him his favorite music type. he responds with a lengthy description of how Enya really speaks deep to his soul. bahahaha. enya. oh gosh. so then i said, "oh, I love rap. Can't go wrong with Kanye West and Eminem." and naturally, he thought that was the coolest thing ever that i liked rap...geeesh. then, there was this long pause of silence. after like 3 minutes he just turned to me and said, "I have nothing to say...I'm scanning my brain, but I just have nothing to say." bahahahaha....oh gosh. So that was dinner.
Highlight 2) The dance
Sooooo, soooo, soooooooo awkward. AWKWARD! haha, i was just so uncomfortable that i couldn't keep to the rhythm so he took that as a sign that he needed to teach me how to dance. in front of everyone. oh gosh. and he kept holding my hands. and his hands were all sticky and gross. blah. so after a few songs, i was like, "um...i need to take a break. i'm going to go to the bathroom."
Highlight 3) The rest of the date
Haha, so after that we just walked outside and sat by the beach, talking and looking out into the middle distance for the remaining hour and a half. This is where it gets really uncomfortable. So, first of all, there was a little Tiki bar thing outside (cause the dance was at this Resort place) and he kept suggesting that we go get drinks. (Ummm.....what?????). But i kept saying i wasn't thirsty. haha. geeez. then, we started talking about our life plans. i wanted to make a huge emphasis that my plans didn't include him in them, so i made them sound really definite, and talked about how i want to go on a mission in a few months, then graduate, then join the military. but that didn't turn him off, instead he was like, "oh, you're not like any other girls! they never know what they are doing with their lives!" geeez. if only he knew that that is exactly how i really am. haha. but, he still felt the need to tell me how important motherhood is. so he talked about that. for a long time. and then. he started. singing. for 5 minutes. some song about mothers. and then, he started rapping. "oh baby girl, baby girl, i really love you. you're in this hole, and you need me to dig you out..." Amy!!! This is not a joke! ....so awkward. i didn't know what to say. so i just sat there in silence, and he was like, "Oh, just forget everything that i just said." and, to top off this whole disturbing conversation experience, i kept yawning. when i yawn once, i just can't stop. and every time i yawned, he would lean over and start patting/rubbing my back, which as time went on turned into him massaging my shoulders every time i yawned. so i had to fight really hard to yawn with my mouth closed or not yawn at all, which was so hard! and sometimes a yawn would just leak out and it was so awkward and weird.
So anyway, that was pretty much how the whole night went. at midnight his friends were heading back and we got a ride with them there, so we headed back with them. but he suggested that they drop us off at the temple and we walk around/sit by the temple and then he walk me home, but i said i was really tired and thankfully they just dropped me off at home. geeeez. he wants me to do something with him tomorrow, but there's no way that's gonna happen. normally, in this situation i would try my best to avoid this guy and never talk to him again, but this is such a small campus and he's in my ward! oh geez. just one more month! one more month and i'll be safe at home in provo!! (ps, sorry for the longest message of your life!! haha)
Yep...I know. Some key details that I didn't mention in this message to Amy (I think because she already knew them):
1. This guy was 30 (had my suspicions but found out for sure during the date...another awkward convo)
2. He was like 6 inches shorter than me
3. Being from a very small Polynesian island, he had a very thick accent, so half the time I didn't even understand him.
4. He texted/emailed me every day leading up to this date to find out what I was wearing. When I finally told him I was wearing a black and blue dress he said, "Ohhh....black and blue is my favorite color." (Ummm...last time I checked those were two separate colors...but okay...)
5. Thirty minutes after he dropped me off from the date he emailed me this message:
Hi Anne
Thank you so much for accompanying me to the Ball Dance.
It was a wonderful blessing to have you come with me to enjoy the Fall Ball together.
You a wonderful person, and you have strong personality as I observed.
Forget about some of my foolish notions that sound prideful in my conversation with you today. Get the good part of it, and enlarge it.
Thank you so much once again and I am looking forward to learn more from you whensoever convenient.
GUYS. This kinda stuff just doesn't happen in real life!
Moral of the story: If you feel uncomfortable around a person when they're asking you out, listen to that little voice, trust your instincts, and just say "NO", because guaranteed that feeling is only going to get ten times stronger during the date. Sometimes, being safe/smart/comfortable/non-awkwarded-out outweighs being polite.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH Oh Anne.. .this will forever be my FAVORITE awkward date story of all time. I almost pass out everytime I re-read it. I'm so glad you posted it on your blog, because I definitely go back through our FB messages from time to time to read it again! haha. but really.
ReplyDelete